Today my mother said I sounded just like him when I said something. She doesn’t know what you did so had no reason to understand that hearing it would hurt, but that doesn’t change the reaction in my mind.
In that moment all that I wanted to do was reach into my skin and dig around till I found a vein, then pull it and watch as the lattice of connected blood vessels rose to the surface only to tear and spill the fluid that had been keeping me alive.
I wanted to reach into my chest and pull out my lungs, squeezing them until every last puff of air had left then watch my body slowly shut down step by step as it ran out of oxygen.
I wanted to pull apart the atoms in my every cell, leaving no bonds unbroken so that I could never be anything like him ever again.